find me at Quisquilian Ramblings

Maybe my next blog home ... ???

Quisquilian Ramblings
http://quisquilian.blogspot.com

Gotta love AWAD... *G*

It's opening night for "Cats"

Yesterday's newspaper ran an article about this weekend's performances of "Cats" which my daughter is cast as Rumpleteazer. Here's the pic and caption from the article:


Mandie R, 17, as Rumpleteazer does a walk through of a dance number with the rest of the cast for the Stage Right production of "Cats."

That's my girl! (That's not her hair, BTW, although it's almost that color... lol)

Evidence

Spring is creeping in slowly here...



Imagine my surprise as I strolled across my back yard to see these primrose blooms smiling at me. :^) The only other things blooming in my gardens is crocus here and there. Oh, and some random snowdrops in the ivy. I'd like to see more of those little white flowers in the future. Must remember to propagate them when I start "spring cleaning" my gardens...

This next picture shows the tiny leaflets on our lilac bushes. The old elm tree in the background is the last to get its leaves each year, and the last to lose them in the fall. That tree has been through a lot -- major amputations after the microburst here on Mother's Day 2002. Though probably mostly hollow and home to large black (carpenter?) ants, this centuries-old tree still fills out beautifully with its foliage.

another month down the drain

Literally. March has been very wet. It's pouring now, as a matter of fact.

I need the sun. I am solar powered. I am tired of being cold and damp and dreary...

Earlier today I was trying to figure out what phase I'm going through. "Mid-life crisis" isn't quite right. Maybe "mid-life depression" is a better descriptor. Things are tough here financially right now, something I'm not used to dealing with. Finding a job that fits my life right now isn't easy. In fact, it seems impossible. On top of trying to search for jobs online, polish my resume, and gear myself up for interviews (selling myself is far from easy with my current mindset), I'm also looking at reporting for jury duty on April 9th, a first for me.

As I understand it, either I get picked or I don't on that day; no more reporting every day for weeks waiting to be weeded out or chosen. But I'm just not sure how to introduce the topic of upcoming jury duty during an interview. Not that I have any more interviews scheduled yet.

As I imagine it, this is somewhat of the way my side of the interview would go:

"Yes, I'd love to start immediately. Except for the day that I have jury duty selection. And I may or may not be chosen to serve for an upcoming trial. And I have to be able to end my days around 3 (or 2 if I have commute time to factor into the equation). Oh, and I have to have certain Fridays off when my daughter has performances. But that's only about 3 or 4 times a year. Did I mention that I'd like to make at least $30K/year? Around $15/hour? That's what I made 19 years ago after 9 years of working for CEOs and COOs and Presidents and Exec VPs of companies. My last position was at the (now-former) headquarters for Levolor. Yes, the Levolor blinds company. I realize this depressed, culturally retarded area only pays around $10/hour for someone with my executive assistant skills and experience, but ..."

My, what a snob I sound like! But what it's really all about is my disbelief that after almost 20 years the salary difference here is still incredibly atrocious. And what a peachy interview THAT would be! I should save that text for one of my characters to use someday...

Ugh. Change topic...

Let's see... what else... oh yes. About 10 days ago I posted something about my latest and greatest ambition. I've been having such fun creating YouTube videos for various people and occasions, I've been entertaining the idea of working for (or possibly starting) my own video production enterprise. I was asked to burn DVD copies of the latest musical my daughter was in when the director saw me setting up my digital camera on my tripod. However, I need a paying job now (8 hours/week as a cashier slightly over minimum wage just doesn't pay the bills). Starting a new venture like that at this point is totally out of the question.

And so I wake up on dreary, damp, dismal days like today and mope around thinking such sunny thoughts as "I'm tired of being cold! I'm tired of rain! I'm old! I'm fat! I'm ugly! I'm such a baby!" DH wasn't working from home this morning, so I allowed myself to have a good little cry, and it did help some. But I couldn't have a BIG ol' cry because I had to go to work at 11 and didn't want to have puffy eyes and a red nose. I don't like to break down in front of DH for many reasons, not because I can't; but he's always been so strong and the sole breadwinner, we're in this together and I don't feel I've been pulling my weight financially, and he's always been so supportive of me being a stay-at-home mom; he doesn't need me drenching him with a teary guilt trip -- not when it's me I'm crying about. It's not his fault I'm insecure, self-conscious, have no self esteem, and hate dealing with people face-to-face! He's so extroverted, he has no idea that my insides get all tight and twisted into nervous knots. He can't understand how or why anyone could ever feel that way about themselves. So I just don't talk about it. He doesn't want to hear it, I don't want to say it, and I don't want to elicit a pep talk or a lecture about how talented and skilled I am.

What I do know about myself is that once I am on a job, I am fine with it, and everyone likes me, and I settle in an (usually) enjoy wherever it is I'm working. It's the selling myself part that I'm no good at. Everything is in my cover letter and my resume in black and white. Don't make me recite it all verbally, too!

Some days, like recently, I just want a big hole to open up and swallow me. The way it's raining, maybe that'll happen!

~smr

last post March 3rd?

Yikes -- what happened to those 16 days?!?!?

ANOTHER gray, rainy day today, with flooding predicted in the city (normal for this time of year). At least spring technically begins tomorrow!

I've been trying to watch American Idol with the rest of the country, but DD's rehearsal schedule kiboshes that because I have to pick her up at some point during the shows. Last night would've been the first time in weeks that I could've watched the entire thing, but it started when I was in the middle of editing a video I took of this weekend's performance (which decided not to burn onto the DVD at the last moment -- twice!), so I could only pop in and out of the room and catch a performance here and there. I wish I'd seen David A.'s performance. That kid sure can sing!

Having said that, I hope he's the one America votes all the way to the top this season. I think he'll be most able to adapt to performing life after Idol, if his youth -- and his reportedly overbearing father -- can keep him strong.

I saw Taylor Hicks in concert last year. After cheering for him through the entire AI season, I was so pleased he'd won. BUT... his concert was lackluster. Taylor Hicks is an amazing performer when he did hit songs on AI. He's great at putting his own touch on those familiar songs, yet he doesn't have a sound or a style all his own. There was nothing memorable about his concert last year, and I never hear him on the radio or see him in the news. Funny how Fate and Fame don't always work together for long.

Enough rambling. Must remember to blog about my latest contemplated endeavor... and about my current job search...

~smr

What a difference a day makes

Last week the weather was almost non-stop snow, sleet, rain, cold, gray, dreary stuff. There was just enough weather "down-time" so that we didn't get deep accumulation, only the mere annoyance of constant wet, slippery roads, frequent sweeping and/or shoveling of the "smush" as I started calling it, and bone-chilling dampness.

Ah, but today... ... ...

Today it is sunny and spring-like. The birds are singing like winter is gone forever, though I know they're only celebrating for the moment like I am. It was 53 degrees at 7:30 this morning, and now, three hours later, the local online weather channel shows only 55 degrees, but in the sun it feels much, much warmer than that. I thought maybe it was in the 60s by now. (I just came in from breaking up ice on our driveway and sidewalk, stomping away some of the stubborn ice that may not see direct sunshine for long because we have many tall hemlock trees.)

Yes, aside from the residual ice and snow out there, if the weather stayed like this year-round, I wouldn't feel so eager to move away from this area. As I tell people quite often, I am solar-powered, and with an average of more gray, sunless days than Seattle, Washington, I am in deep doo-doo living in southwestern Pennsylvania.

No wonder I move around like a slug most days, slower and slower with each passing year, my zest for life turning into zest for sleep.

~smr

some fiction

=====
DJ peered into her doctor's office and observed him studying side-by-side CAT scan films on illuminated screens mounted on the wall behind his desk. Dr. Levitt's body language confirmed what she'd already concluded on her own: her condition was getting worse. She took a deep breath and squared her shoulders before she tapped on the partially-open door. "Dr. Levitt? Your secretary said you were ready to see me now."

"Yes, Mrs. Talbot. Please come in. Have a seat." He gestured toward the chairs in front of his desk without taking his eyes off the view boxes.

No sense reminding him it was all right if he called her "DJ" after more than six years of surgeries and rehab and appointments since her car accident. He probably wants professional distance now, anyway, she reminded herself. "Give it to me straight, as usual. I leave the state the day after tomorrow for my next restoration project, and you know I always like to have everything planned."

Dr. Levitt turned and faced her, then sat down in his swivel chair. "There is progression in your condition. I want you to cancel your plans. Use your strength now to focus on recovery. Your work will exhaust you and may speed up the process. Stay here so we can closely monitor you, keep you as comfortable as possible while we continue to try and beat this."

DJ sighed. She'd told him before and she'd tell him again: her choice would always be quality of life over quantity of life. And her idea of quality did not include living in a bed hooked up to tubes and wires and drips and monitors. "Let me ask one thing: Can my condition be cured, reversed, stopped, whatever, if I stay here?"

She already knew the answer to that one.

Dr. Levitt hung his head and pursed his lips in thought. "I--," he cut himself off, then looked her in the eye. "No, I'm afraid not. It's only a matter of time now." He stood and returned to the illuminated view boxes, pointing out the changes in her new film versus the last one taken six months earlier.

She'd never known this doctor to be at such a loss for words before. She had always asked the hard questions, expected truthful answers, then faced the issue, full-force, straight on. That's just the way she was, and she wasn't likely to change now.

"How much time?" she finally asked.

"Four months." He paused. "Maybe five."
=====

~smr

03/03/08 update: In the next draft of this prologue, Dr. Doom N. Gloom is not going to be as precise with his predicted timeframe. But, hey, first drafts are sketchy things.

805 NEW words!

Shock. I'm in utter shock. I just wrote 805 NEW words to my OLD WIP.

Smelling salts, please!

They spilled out as a prologue that sets up the story quite well, I think. It eliminates the need for me to narrate her medical condition into the meat of the story!

I know why the words are coming today: it's because I need to clean the house for our houseguest who arrives this evening!!!

Anything to get out of housework...

~smr

I lied.

Okay, I lied. Yesterday's post. Said my old WIP "worked."

Nuh-uh. *shaking head*

Late last night as I was trying to jot down the flow of events (I tend to have too much happening within the span of one day, therefore never allowing my character to sleep). And that's when the story started to fall apart again.

Tired and deflated, I went to bed, jotting a few last possibilities down in the notebook beside my bed, things that might work if they get juggled around a little, etc.

Basically, I know now why I put that MS away. But today I also still think I can pull it off. It is a good story, and I haven't felt that way about my stuff in a very, very long time. I suppose I just needed some distance before I could see it again.

And so, off I go to do various other chores first. The writing time that comes later is my reward. :^)

~smr

message

"You are only as big as the dreams you dare to live." ~Anon.

This was the surprise message I got inside of a recent card I received. (Yes, birthday card, although I'll deny being another year older...)

Anyway, I'm sure I've read or heard this saying before, but it really hit home when I read it yesterday.

I'm dreaming of finishing one of my many WIPs.

I started reading my most recent version of this particular story, and I found myself reading it as though it was someone else's already-published book -- a complete, thorough, smooth story with continuity to details and everything! I got about 100 pages into it (double-spaced, with some extra white space here and there along the way, too, for notes and what-not), and that's when the MS gets rougher, but I don't know why I couldn't make myself push through it. It actually works the way I have it written!

So I'm submerging myself back into this story and going to try and breathe new life into it. And that is my new "big" dream that I want to live. :^)

Other than that, I had yet another "tornado" dream. I've checked dream symbolism before, and it generally means I'm feeling troubled and living amid turmoil. Presently, that would refer to the fact that I'm job-searching after all these years of non-secretarial work. Ugh. In my life BC (before children), I got whatever job I ever applied for, including promotions within companies that I was already working for. After one relocation with DH, I decided to sign up with a temporary agency for placement. I was assigned to one place, and that company ended up planning "buy" me from the temp agency. Now that was a nice feeling. :^) Those folks were gonna pay extra for me, they liked my work so much! (Past-tense because it never came to be: I "came down with" morning sickness and resigned because I'd already experienced a miscarriage and wasn't willing to risk it again. Priorities, yanno.)

Anyway, so I know I'm employable.

So when our little local rinky-dinky community college never even responded to me that they received my resume and application, I never bothered following up. Heck, it was only a part-time clerical position, for Pete's sake. Not like I was going to manage a mega-company or something. I figured if that position is still open and they didn't contact me at least for an interview, then they don't want me and I don't want them.

What a snob I sound like! However, I know I can't play the little kiss-up games that some offices seem to have to endure. I never did that, never will. I don't play those games, and I don't care for the people who do. Sure, sometimes there's the little white lie or stretch of the "pleasantry" about some issue, but that's on the order of being courteous as opposed to being kissy-uppy.

So now I've got my resume out to another small business, even closer to home than the college, and I hope I hear something. It's part-time executive secretarial, right up my alley for now. I hope to be in a full-time position by the third or fourth quarter of 2009, once DD has started college. That is if we're not moved into the poorhouse before then. The paychecks I get now literally don't fill my little car with a tank of gas.

Pitiful.

~smr

the big and small of things

DH forwarded me an interesting email that I thought I'd share in my blog today. I saved it picture by picture, and then of course the text got pretty small by the time Blogger re-sized it, but I think if you click on the picture it shows it full-size. Then just hit your "Back" button to return to this page.

Suddenly I am reminded of "Horton Hears a Who" ... ... ...

~smr

The REST of the (plumbing) story...

Before I type the rest of the plumbing story and its ultimate outcome, I forgot to mention a cute little extra about the Poor Kid plumber conversation. Once Poor Kid had finished giving me the (bad news) quote ($701!!!), I went in to the home office to converse briefly with DH just to sort of alert him to the direction this repair was headed, money-wise.

When I returned to talk more with the Poor Kid, I once again announced my shock at the quote he had given me.

His reply: "Our work comes with a 12-month warranty. If you should have any trouble within a year, we would come back here under the warranty."

I couldn't keep the smile off my face or the chuckle out of my voice. "We gutted this bathroom twelve years ago, and this is the first plumbing problem we've had that we couldn't fix ourselves. I don't think we'll have this problem again in twelve months!"

He just looked up at me from his perch on the edge of my tub. I don't think he really grasped what I was saying.

Slowly, he thought of something else that I suppose he thought would sound good to me. "I'm sure we could give you an extended warranty..."

And I suppose I'd been trying (unsuccessfully) to curb my Irish for too long now. But rather than get red in the face and explode, I laughed again. Poor Kid. "Listen," I said, "I'm just not impressed by your warranty offer! Not at that price!"

So anyway, as I said in my blog the other day, the Poor Kid wrapped things up and went his merry way.

The next morning (yesterday, already), "My Guy" plumber arrived, listened to my narration about the problem, visually surveyed situation, described the best plan of attack, and was in and out of my house in less than two hours. Grand total of my unclogging/repair/plus tightening up the faucet knobs in the tub: $225.

Ta-daaaaaaaaaaaah. My Guy plumber wins again. Ding ding ding!

Now, if I'd only waited for 8AM and not let DH's urging to find someone sooner, faster, now now now, I wouldn't have had all of this fun stuff to blog about!

~smr

Plumb unlucky today

~~~~~
Just what we need: a stopped-up drain in our main bathroom. Without the usual warning signs of a sluggish drain in either our shower or our sink, we've got a blocked pipe somewhere.

DH works from home at present, and so I had to interrupt his business day to inform him of the problem. First we tried some heavy-duty liquid drain cleaner. No luck. Then DH proceeded to try and have a go at snaking the tub pipe himself (we've snaked wires between the walls before, so we know what it's all about, even if we don't know the messiness of it first-hand), but when the corroded screw broke off of the tub drain-plug lever cover plate (the wha???) for him to start snaking, he announced it was time to call a plumber.

The guys I've used before weren't able to come out today (it was early afternoon when this happened), so I scheduled them for first thing tomorrow morning. That wasn't soon enough for DH, if there was another company out there that could do it today. *grumble*

See, I know "my guys" when it comes to repairs, etc. That is to say, I know who is going to do a good job and give me a fair price for the work, and I've used these plumbers before and have been treated fairly and had the job(s) well done. Nothing as major as a stopped drain, but how "major" could it really be?

I had a feeling that the bigger, franchised plumbers listed in the Yellow Pages (who would be most likely to come out here johnny-on-the-spot) would also have bigger, franchised prices. As usual, I was right. Sometimes I just hate being right all the time.

Yellow Pages... Plumbing company #2: my call rolled over to their answering machine. *click* I haven't got time to hang around and wait for them to call me back and tell me that they can't get to me today.

Yellow Pages... Plumbing company #3: the receptionist/scheduler had an efficient yet pushy-rush-rush-rushing way about her, and she was scheduling my request and giving me 2-hour windows of time faster than I could calculate where I had to be at what time, what with shuttling my DD to and from her dance classes this evening. Her windows didn't match my windows, but I took one anyway, figuring I'd make it all work out somehow.

Plumber #3 shows up in a timely fashion and proceeds to evaluate the situation. "Free evaluation" applies to this call, luckily. He first quoted me $300. After I came out of shock, I told him that was twice what I had expected the quote to be, when it was really three times my very first guess-timate. "Gee, you guys get paid more than doctors!" slipped out of my mouth before I could really think. Poor kid.

Then he begins to explain how he'll have to get to the pipe through the access panel as opposed to the overflow/waste tube in the tub because he can't remove the plug and lever because the doggone screw snapped off and it turns out the entire tube/plug/lever contraption needs to be replaced, but he hadn't figured that into the quote...

I looked at him a little cock-eyed, I'm sure. Silly me, but, "Doesn't that tube/lever/plug thing have to be replaced anyway?" I ask, trying to keep the tone of annoyance out of my voice. (I'm not sure I succeeded.)

With some hesitation, "Yes,..."

He wasn't going to remove the broken plug/lever/cover plate thingy to snake the pipe; instead he was going to go behind the tub (the access panel is in the master bedroom!), open up the pipes in there, then snake it, but we'd still have the broken plug/lever/cover plate thingy to contend with!!! Duh??? Did I miss something???

He pulls out his large, three-ring binder and leafs through the plastic-protected pages. *jots a few notes...*

Now we're up to $400. Just to replace that part. Not including the $300 to snake the drain. But I had to ask if $400 was the total for everything.

*gets calculator out*

"$701."

*GAWK* "You've got to be kidding...!!!" I turn and head into the hallway, mumbling to myself, "I've gotta hit the lottery..." I'm pretty sure he heard me. Poor kid.

At this point, I'm starting to lose my focus, and I'm not sure how or what he did, but he reconfigured everything and the total (with tax, I suppose) came to a whopping $750!!!!!!!!

ARRRRRGH!!!!!

"How competitive are your prices???" I ask him in desperation.

"Well, how much were you expecting this to cost?"

*sheesh!* *mentally smacking my forehead*

"I was shocked at $300 just to clear the drain. I would've expected this entire repair to be $300, maybe $350, including the new parts" I manage to spout.

"Let me call my manager..."

I head downstairs. I don't wanna listen to this poor kid, nor do I want to hear his boss laughing on the other end of his radio/phone...

"Ma'am?" he calls downstairs to me a short time later. "Those are our book prices. He can give you a $50 coupon off the total..."

"Well, that's something," I mutter as I climb the stairs again. We just stand there for a minute until I finally start wondering what this house-call estimate is going to cost me. He reassured me that there was no fee for his visit today, assessing what needs to be done here.

~whew~

"Okay, well, I've got guys coming here first thing in the morning for another estimate (I had never cancelled my original appointment with MY guys... Dang, I'm good.).

The kid shifted his stance.

"So, if I get shell-shocked again tomorrow and call your company back, this is what we'll be working with, right?" I ask, waving my copy of the tri-colored estimate quote sheet he'd given me with the $50 coupon applied, lowering the total to $701.

He assured me that even if he wasn't the man sent out to do the work, that they would honor and work from his quote and notes.

So now "my guys" are still coming out tomorrow. They charge an hourly rate. I'm thinking this whole mess is going to cost half of what Poor Kid was ready to charge me.

I may not know what everything is technically called [I'm referring to my mention of the tub drain-plug lever cover plate (the wha???)], but I have a fairly good mechanical side to my brain, and I can usually get a good idea of what's what through deductive reasoning and discussion. Really!

Sometimes, like auto mechanic garages and household repair jobs, sometimes I really think that these service people are trained to try and take advantage of us poor-little-ol' womenfolk who can't understand anything more complex than cooking, cleaning, and driving the kids to and from lessons/sports. Why would little-ol' me question anything this big, bwave he-man was telling me?

Hah! This guy obviously doesn't know me very well... ... ... And it's gonna stay that way! I don't expect to be calling his company back for this repair.

Gee, this was a long post -- for someone who sat down here and thought she had nothing to write about!!!
~~~~~

To blog, or not to blog...

As I was stepping out of my think-tank (shower) earlier, it occurred to me that maybe I could hear my characters' voices again if I could find a quiet place where no one utters my name, no phones ring (telemarketers!!!!!), no cats meow at me for attention (or food), ...

Some place that isn't my responsibility to respond to anything I might see or hear ... (except my characters' voices inside my head!)

Somewhere... over the rainbow...

The other night I climbed under the covers earlier than usual, pen and pad in hand, the way I used to begin a writing jag. Sometimes long, sometimes short, but always produced at least a little something. Not that night. As soon as I got the covers settled around me and my pad at a comfortable angle for writing, my mind went completely blank. Just like the pad. No, even more blank than the pad. The white pages had thin blue lines on them...

I picked up a book instead. Not a bad alternative, but not as invigorating as creating something of my own. It's been years since I've really written anything. I've even given up writing our annual holiday newsletter, and I even have my cheat-sheet calendar pages to prompt me for events to write about!

Pretty sad.

So, instead, I've been toying with different names for my blog. One that reflects who I am, what I'm feeling, what I'm trying to say.

Oddly enough, the title line of this post is probably the best one of all, and it only occurred to me after I'd typed it.

To blog or not to blog...

"Never Enuf Thyme" is... ... ... stale now. And I'm ready to retire it. At least from the name of this blog.

I've toyed with

Whispers and Echoes
invisible indelible ink
Clearly Invisible (which was my fav until To blog, or not to blog)

Oh, there were others. But those are the ones that stuck. In fact, I still have W&E up on Blogger; I just haven't used it in almost a year.

*blank*

Time to close.

~smr

Identity crisis

I exaggerate. It's not a "crisis." But I am finding myself in search of a life. lol

Every once in a while I feel suffocated and overwhelmed, like I have absolutely no control in my life.

And every once in a while I have to pull back, shut down for a little bit, regroup, reevaluate things, and revitalize myself.

I think this is one of those "once-in-a-whiles." Which seem to be attacking me much more frequently!

Time to push myself back away from the screen, step away from the computer, and go peaceably on with the rest of my regular routine.

Breathe.

Yeah. That's helping already. :^)

~smr

Why didn't I think of something like this before?

Whilst cleaning out another over-stuffed nook in the home office where I used to try and contain my writing mess, I filled an idle laundry basket with binders, magazines, and shorthand-scribbled notepads. As I was sorting this writing mish-mosh on my dining room table, I came across a 2004 (no laughing allowed, this is my domain here!) issue of Writer's Digest (the February 2004 issue, to be precise) folded opened and creased to death at a Nancy Kress article.

I've always loved Nancy Kress' articles, and the title of this one grabbed me, as usual: "Keep Your Tale on Track."

Well, I'm in the sorting/cleaning/packing/tossing mode, not the reading mode, so I'll save it for later. But it occurred to me right then that Nancy Kress must certainly have her own blog!

*open IE...*

*Google...*

*DING! DING! DING!* We have a winner.

http://nancykress.blogspot.com/

Again, I'm not in the reading mode just now, but later I plan to do a little poking around and reading.

Cross your fingers for me and knock on wood -- maybe that'll help lift this writing block-funk I've been in for soooooo long.

~smr

quotations

I don't seem to have any words of my own, so lemme try Abe's on for size:


"America will never be destroyed from the outside. If we falter and lose our freedoms, it will be because we destroyed ourselves." ~Abraham Lincoln


"This country, with its institutions, belongs to the people who inhabit it. Whenever they shall grow weary of the existing government, they can exercise their constitutional right of amending it, or exercise their revolutionary right to overthrow it." ~Abraham Lincoln

one-third

Well, we're technically one-third of the way through winter. It's snowing like a crazy right now, but we're only supposed to get an inch or two. The past couple of days have been bitterly cold here, and each year I become a bigger wimp about it than the year before. I thought that maybe, as I got older, I'd mellow more and deal with cold temps better, but that's hardly the case.

I had a Reality-Check setback recently, too, when I sat down to re-think how long it will be before I can plunk that "for sale" sign in our front yard. For years now, I've been counting down to our daughter's high school graduation day.

*Plunk*

I was pleased as punch to think we'd be getting ready to move in less than two years now! However, that was when it was pretty much a foregone conclusion that both of our children would be attending college in distant places elsewhere in the country. Our son is a now freshman at the University of Pittsburgh (and loving it), only about 30 minutes (45 with rush-hour traffic) from home. And as it stands right now, it looks like our daughter will want to attend a college in Pittsburgh as well.

*UN-plunk*

That means we're here for probably 4 more years beyond my original sign-plunking plans.

*sigh*

Is it wrong to wish for global warming? I mean, just locally, for me? :^/

One click leads to another

Funny how one click of the mouse button can lead me down a winding path of destinations and distractions. That's what happened the other night as I was home alone for a spell. The house was dull and quiet, and I decided to do some online surfing, primarily looking for interesting people and things to read about.

One click led to another, and I read something that regenerated my own personal genealogical curiosities. I found out a little more about my English roots on the Howland side of things (my paternal grandmother was a Howland). John Howland has the dubious distinction of coming to America in 1620 aboard the Mayflower as a manservant to John Carver and falling overboard during a storm (there's even a painting depicting this event!). However, it is John Howland's younger brother, Henry, whom I am descended from. Henry Howland traveled aboard the ship The Anne in 1623 or 1624 I think I read, but there isn't as much documentation about Henry as there is about John. Not that I've found yet, but I've only just begun digging.

On the Scottish side of my ancestry (my paternal grandfather's side), our relations have been traced to Duart Castle on the Isle of Mull, a large island just off the central-western mainland coast of Scotland. I've discovered that Sean Connery is my cousin. A gazillion times removed, but my cousin just the same. The movie "Entrapment" with Sean Connery and Katherine Zeta-Jones was filmed at Duart Castle in 1999, I think it was. My brother has been to Duart Castle and has signed the family guest book there, so he recognized a lot of the scenery and settings in that movie.

Well, enough rambling and meandering links for now. No school for my daughter tomorrow, but work for me.

I feel like such a slug.

Trash and puzzles

It began a little more than one week ago. The accumulation.

Snow?

Nope. (Thank goodness!!!!!!!!)

Paper. Old manuscripts, to be precise.

It was a long, drawn-out process because I was determined to group my drafts of stuff together by story. I gathered, collected, bundled, and packed it all away in a large, brand-new garbage can on wheels and have it stored in my basement now. At least I think I have it all together now, but I'm sure I'll find more notes, drafts, and "visual aids" relating to my stories all packed away. And probably, someday in the distant future, when I randomly discover this "treasure," I'll be able to wheel it all out to the end of our driveway to be hauled away forever.

Although I would rather burn it all. Did I ever mention that I seem to love drama? I also love fires in our little fire pit on summer nights while the kids are swimming.

I can't say that I feel lighter by wheeling away these old stories. But since I took down our Christmas tree and decorations, I have totally reclaimed the living room, and the dining room isn't half bad. Except for the 504-piece jigsaw puzzle I opened earlier this evening.

Back to more important things, like putting my puzzle together.

~smr

more my kind of weather for January

We're experiencing record-setting temperatures here, and that's fiiiiiiiiiiine with me! Today we're supposed to hit 67 degrees. Yesterday it reached 66, but I had to laugh as I drove past the big digital bank clock that alternates the date, time, and temperature: it was around 4:00pm, the sun was shining brightly (and obviously directly on the thermometer) and displayed 104 degrees! Sure wish I'd had a camera!

~smr

New year, old habits

A light powdery snow is falling tonight and has already blanketed the ground. If it keeps up, work will be quiet and slow tomorrow, which will be fine by me. *G*

A new year is upon us again, and old habits hover like heavy, gray clouds.

Not really. I was just waxing poetic (or not) for a silly moment. I don't know what habits I have, if any, really. Is being addicted to the Internet considered a habit? I wouldn't think so since I used the word "addicted." Although, "habit" is used in terms of drug addiction...

Too deep to go there at this time of night.

~smr

end of 2007 -- YAY!

New Year's Eve, 39 degrees and clear at the moment. Forecast is for a couple of inches of snow to start coming down just after midnight. It looked like it wanted to snow this morning, but by about 1:30 the sun was shining and it was a decent December day.

It was a busy one at work; I can't believe how many people shop all hours of the day.... I guess that should give me a little feeling of job security, though I could do without some of the cranky folks. I guess that by now everyone is really sick and tired of the lines and waiting, etc., but there they are: scoffing up the after-Christmas clearance items.

Not me. When work is done, I'm outta there.

2007 will not be missed one single iota by me. It was filled with drama and poignant moments about major issues, and I'm certainly not going to commit them to my memory by specifically typing them into this blog. All I know is that dh is starting a new job with the new year, once again working from a "home office," which means... well, I just get all befuddled with him around the house all day, every day. But, since I'm in the process of looking for office work outside the home, that would take me out of here at least 3 days/week if I get the position I'm hoping for. I don't want to think how low I'll feel if they don't want to hire me.

*mind went blank; time to log off*

~smr

the blah time of year

The holidays are winding down, the "Christmas crush" is relaxing its death grip on consumers (and those who play the part of cashier), winter has officially begun, and so has the blah time of year.

Now is the hour of my discontent...

I know, I know. Now is the winter of our discontent... William Shakespeare. Billy Shakespeare, I like to call him. "Hour" fit my current status better -- I can only stay focused for minutes at a time, seldom for hours, so forget an entire season!

Tonight it is 35 degrees and overcast. Not bad for the 29th of December in southwestern Pennsylvania.

Boring trivial information, I know. I do have a goal in mind, though, about recording current weather conditions in my blog. I hope to create a personal reference point that I can refer to (obviously) as to extreme/normal weather conditions here as I wait out my six-year term in this trivial town.

Yes, more accurately, five-and-a-half more years here, most likely. I was prematurely counting down until the day our DD graduates from high school (1.5 years), when just the other day it dawned on me that our DS is attending college within 1/2 hour, and DD most likely will too (different college, same city). *sigh* How could I possibly move away from my children?

My original plan to relocate was based on the theory/likelihood that both of my children would be attending college at great distances from home. Not happenin'.

I suppose we could still potentially move from this dreary area if DH were to need to relocate for a job opportunity. But that's not likely to happen.

So here I sit, recounting past thoughts, hopes, plans... now teary-eyed at this recollection of seeing the "FOR SALE" sign in our front lawn, knowing I have to add on another 4 years to that vision.

I know it will pass quickly. It will. But... ... ... *sigh*

~smr

another year blown past

It's 44 degrees and raining here. Nasty night to have to go to the grocery store, but family is coming tomorrow for a holiday meal and Christmas celebration. At least it's not snowing or freezing everything with a layer of ice.

Wow.

Exciting blog.

Whoop-de-ding-dong-doo.

A snippet of my everyday life.

Whoop-de-ding-dong-doo.

~smr

Job search has commenced

It is time.

Part-time, anyway.

Time to return to the secretarial force out there. I never thought I'd be even remotely interested in being a grown person's "mommy" again now that I've experienced REAL motherhood, but there's a part-time job that popped up at a community college that caught my attention. Education. Now there's a worthwhile endeavor! Please, oh, please, never any more marketing and sales departments for me! No more retail! No more corporate attorneys! Puh-leeeeze!!

Yes, today I will mail out my first resume in just over 5 years. Five years of being a cashier in a department store is more than enough for me. But the commute (2 minutes!) has been more than wonderful. This secretarial opening (okay, I'm already over-glorifying it -- it's an administrative clerk job) will mean commuting 3 days a week. But I'm hoping that when my schedule frees up even more, a higher-level secretarial position will open up for me, too. Time will tell. Who knows? Maybe we'll move before I ever get a secretarial position anywhere. I could live with that, too.

Sad thing is, though, that when I left my last executive secretarial position 20 years ago, I was making $15/hour. This clerical job is only a little more than half that hourly wage... *sigh* Yet it's just slightly less than what I make per hour now, after five freakin' years!

~smr

Maybe...

Maybe I wasn't destined to ever finish writing a novel...

Maybe I wasn't meant to be a published author...

Maybe the desire to write was only a journey to show me different things in different ways that I might never have even noticed before...

Maybe the desire to write all these years taught me a little about perseverence...

Maybe the writing pathway was there only to lead me to great online friendships...

Maybe all those times I threw in the towel and felt broken-hearted about not typing "The End" in one of my novels simply meant that my writing journey wasn't over at those points...

And maybe now that the desire to write has left me and it doesn't break my heart to say it, well...

...maybe I've come to the end of that path.

And I'm okay with that, because that path led me to where I am today, and I realize that I have everything important in life that I ever dreamed of having.

Not too shabby, if I do say so myself.

I sigh, this time a contented sigh, and a "well-whaddaya-know" sigh. *G*

~smr

Keith Olbermann's 12/06/07 special commentary

Talk about must-see TV! This 8 1/2 minute YouTube video is a compelling one:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MeXb1oS3OUw

Impeach Cheney first. Then impeach Bush. Right now the only thing worse than having GWB as president would be if Dick Cheney were placed in the Oval Office!

~smr

Talking Turkey

Finally got here to Blogger. Now what? ... ... ...

Turkey-day was delicious. After all these years, I can say that I know how to cook one yummy bird! My gravy is still less predictable, though. It was rather bland this time. I think part of it was because I wasn't cooking at home this year and didn't have all of my "little something extra" ingredients, but I can't blame it all on that. *G* I have another turkey in the freezer that I'll probably roast for Christmas/New Years, so I'll try my hand at it again in a few weeks. Luckily, my family never seems to notice the gravy factor!

The kitchen has never been my "happy place," and I inherited that from my mother. Though she always cooked great holiday meals, it was never anything she loved to do. Oh, she loved the fact that we were all together to enjoy the meal and each other, but the stress of pulling all of the food items together at the same time always built up like steam in a tea kettle. I used to be, shall I say, less than helpful with my own attitude at those times. Now, if my mom promises to stay out from under foot while I pull the meal together like she had to promise this year because of her health, it's not nearly so stressful in the kitchen. My brother (3 years older than I) called me after we all returned to our respective homes and remarked how relaxed and calm I seemed to be while getting everything ready for the table at the last minute. I explained that it wouldn't have been as easy for me if he hadn't been there to help -- he's been a single dad for about 10 years now and has made his share of Thanksgiving meals in the past. He also tends to get stressed during the last minutes of preparation, trying to get everything onto the table as hot as it can be, all at the same time. The other thing that really helps is using one or two hot-pots to cook things and/or keep them hot for mealtime. It frees up space on the stove, and the stuff cooking in them (usually one for green bean casserole and one for sweet potatoes) is ready and waiting when mealtime arrives. This year, I was able to hover at the stove and make requests over my shoulder for him to do certain things, and that was a great help to me. A big part of that sort of help is just being able to make the request and not have to explain how to do it!

On the homefront, son is preparing for his first round of finals at college; daughter leaves school later this morning with the high school theatre club to attend the annual, 4-day thespian conference (this year on the other side of the state); hubby just left for work; and I get to sit back and eat bon bons while watching soap operas all day long. Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.

Actually, I just finished painting half of our living room (interior) window shutters. We have four windows, two back and two front, and I spray-painted the back ones to blend in with the decor. We've lived here for 13 years, and the shutters have been here since before we moved in. Anything I try to dust them with either ends up shredding on the brittle splinters from their over-dryness, or doesn't get the job done well (vacuum cleaner attachments). So, I remove the bar that adjusts the angle of the louver slats, remove each staple that held the bar in place on each slat, glue the slats in place with wood glue while trying to fill the gaps between the slats, spray on one coat of primer that helps reveal any little holes, then fill the staple holes and any other little gaps with a spackle compound, then apply another coat of primer and two coats of color paint. Easy-peasy. But time-consuming and smelly! My daughter was having some asthma issues last week, brought on by marching in a holiday parade -- make that singing and dancing in a holiday parade -- all the while directly behind a big fire engine where the exhaust fumes really settled in her lungs. I don't think the paint fumes from the basement were helping her very much. The shutters on our front windows will just have to wait until I can work on them outside or in our garage. Then all I'll have to deal with will be the dead bugs that get caught in the wet paint. *G*

So now I'm in the process of organizing our video tapes and DVDs, including cleaning out the "den" where our kitties (and treadmill) live.

My MIL is still having medical problems right now, too, as her meds need reassessment. Maybe someday I'll let down my guard enough to blog my deepest feelings about growing old... ... ... I acknowledge getting older, yes, but not getting old.

Which reminds me... now would be a great time to find that Yoga tape I bought last year...

~smr

fun times... NOT

It seems that this past week was a bad week for my mothers.

My mother was admitted to the hospital last Thursday night with diverticulosis. Today she undergoes at least one "scope" (colonoscopy), and probably another "scope" down her throat while she's under the anesthesia. My dad says she's feeling fine, but naturally this puts all Thanksgiving plans on hold.

Then last night my mother-in-law was taken to the hospital for various problems. Fortunately, everything she was checked out for turned up negative and there was no reason to admit her. Unfortunately, it looks like her meds need to be adjusted again, and that's always a guessing game.

So, what do I do with the 20-pound turkey defrosting in my fridge??? Guess we'll be eating tons of turkey for a long time... ... ... The least of all of the difficulties, to be sure. *sigh*

~smr

that's show biz!

Last night was opening night for the musical "Annie." Last night was also light-up night at the mall. Not only is my daughter in "Annie," but she is also a "Sensation" (a special-appearance performing troupe from where she takes her performing arts lessons), and the Sensations had to perform at the mall to welcome Santa and light the tree in the center platform of the mall.

Can you say "two places at once"???

Somehow, it all worked out (barely!), but not without some stresssssssssss.

Though talented, this performing arts school is spreading itself thinner and thinner. Just like my patience is getting. There is so much taken for granted by the performing arts school that it's really starting to get to me. My daughter has only 1.5 more years of high school and the perf. arts school, so the light at the end of the tunnel is helping me cope and not lose my temper. If I open my yap about it, it will surely only make things harder on my daughter in the way of getting parts in future productions.

So I have to keep my opinions to myself and sigh, "that's show biz."

Needless to say, NaNo is the furthest thing from my mind right about now. I'm still stuck at 4949 words, and I should be at 16,670 by 11:59:59 tonight. Think I can write 12,000 words in 8 hours and 45 minutes? Oh, minus the time we'll be at the theatre, watching the show. Including travel time, performance time, hanging around after time, then more travel time, that would leave me about 5 hours to write 12,000 words.

*faint*

~smr